January's Loss

Talking about January's loss,just one person comes to my mind..Maybe everyone will be thinking of this person who left us 19 years back..The celestial lover of Malayalam Cinema..A man who gifted us a lot of classic films,which will remain as classics forever!He was the best..The great Mr Padmarajan..Our own pappettan!

I am no one to comment or analyse his films..People loved his films, that's why still they are watched again and again! I am a movie freak..But I developed the passion for film direction after seeing his films. The way he crafted his films made him exceptional from the others..He easily handled complex subjects! One such movie was 'Thoovanathumbikal'..It remains as my ever favourite movie, in fact one of the best movie malayalam film industry has ever seen. The way he told the love betwen Jayakrishnan and Clara..The rain scenes..I think Jayakrishnan and Clara were one of the best characters in malayalam movies!I haven't seen all the 18 movies directed by pappettan..But I will mention some of his movies which influenced me..Ofcourse the first among them is Thoovanathumbikal..Then Moonampakkam,Innale,Namukku Paarkkan Munthirithoppukal,Koodevide,Kaanamarayathu(His script)!Still I have many more movies to watch&I am eagerly waiting for it!

Pappettan really gave us some exceptional scenes which we will never forget in our life..Like the climax scene of 'Innale',where Suresh Gopi leaves from Jayaram's home with intense pain..The bible scenes of 'Namukku Paarkkan Munthirithoppukal'..The climax scene of 'Moonampakkam'..In 'Thoovanathumbikal' every scene had it's own beauty&I think it's the best I have seen! The music and the locations of his films were very notable..I will go on writing if I start writing about his films! In a recent article his wife Radhalakshmi quoted "everyone loves the director in him..but he wanted to be known as a writer"! I am waiting for her new book in which we wil be able to know the writer in pappettan closely. Seeing the recent films,we realise the absence of directors like Padmarajan&Bharathan greatly..We lost a great personality..An incredible film maker& and a writer,which we didn't recognise well..The loss of pappettan is the loss of malayalam movies..The loss of good movies..A great loss for all actors..He really boosted many actors career with some incredible characters! But he left us after giving some exceptional movies,which still remains as the best..Pappetta,you are still remembered and honoured..After getting passionate about films, I really wanted two things to happen..One was to see pappettan&other to become his student..I can say I have achieved both these in a way..I see you always through your films..And I always respect you as my mentor! This year on 23rd, I was in Thrissur..The place where pappettan shot Thoovanathumbikal..Maybe it happened due to his blessings!As I conclude my writing, just some words for you..'Miss you pappetta'!


1. Peruvazhiyambalam [Highway shelter] (adapted from his novel) (1979)
2. Oridaththoru phayalvaan [At some place, a wrestler] (1981)
3. Kallan Pavithran [Pavithran, the thief] (1981)
4. Novemberintaey nashtam [November's loss] (1982)
5. Koodevide [Whither the nest] (adapted from the Tamil novel Moongil pookkal by Vaasanthi) (1983)
6. Parannu parannu parannu [Soaring soaring soaring] (1984)
7. Thinkalaazhcha nalla divasam [Monday, an auspicious day] (1985)
8. Nammukku paarkkaan munthiri thoppukal [Vineyards for us to dwell] (adapted from the novel Nammukku graamangalil chennu raappaarkkaam [Let us go and dwell in the villages] by K. K. Sudhakaran) (1986)
9. Kariyilakkaattu pole [Like a zephyr of dry leaves] (1986)
10. Arappatta kettiya graamaththil [In the village which wears a warrior's belt] (1986)
11. Desatanakkili Karayarilla [The migratory bird never cries] (1986)
12. Nombaraththippoovu [The sorrowful flower] (1987)
13. Thoovaanathumbikal [Butterflies of the spraying rain] (adapted from his novel Udhakappola [A bubble in water]) (1987)
14. Aparan [The Impostor] (adapted from his short story) (1988)
15. Moonnam Pakkam [On the third day] (1988)
16. Season (1989)
17. Innalaey [Yesterday] (adapted from the Tamil novel Jananam [Birth] by Vaasanthi) (1990)
18. Njaan gandharvan [I, the celestial lover] (1991)


1. Prayaanam [Progression] (Bharathan) (1975)
2. Ithaa ividaey varaey [Look! Till here] (I. V. Sasi; adapted from his novel) (1977)
3. Rathinirvedham [Venereal disenchantment] (Bharathan; adapted from his novel) (1978)
4. Raappaadikaludaey gaadha [The song of the Nightingales] (K. G. George) (1978)
5. Nakshathrangalaey kaaval [The stars alone guard me] (K. S. Sethumadhavan; adapted from his novel) (1978)
6. Vaadakakkoru hrudhayam [A heart for rent] (I. V. Sasi; adapted from his novel) (1978)
7. Sathraththil oru raathri [A night in an inn] (N. Sankaran Nair) (1978)
8. Thakara [Weed] (Bharathan; adapted from his novel) (1979)
9. Lorry (Bharathan) (1980)
10. Kochchu kochchu thettukal [Minor mistakes] (Mohan) (1980)
11. Shalini entaey koottukaari [Shalini, my friend] (Mohan) (1980)
12. Idavela [Interval] (Mohan) (1982)
13. Eenam [Tune] (Bharathan) (1983)
14. Kaikeyi (I. V. Sasi) (1983)
15. Kaanaamarayaththu [Beyond the horizon] (I. V. Sasi) (1984)
16. Ozhivukaalam [Vacation] (Bharathan) (1985)
17. Karimpinpoovinakkaraey [Across the sugarcane flowers] (I. V. Sasi) (1985)
18. Ee thanuththa veluppaankaalaththu [In these cold wee hours] (Joshi) (1990)

Novels and short stories (excluding filmed ones)

1. Nakshathrangalle kaval [stars that guard]
2. Onnu randu moonnu [One, two, three]
3. Jalajwaala [The watery fire]
4. Nanmakaludaey sooryan [The sun of virtues]
5. Vikramakaaleeshwaram
6. Shavavaahanangalum thedi [In search of biers]
7. Manjukaalam notta kuthira [The horse which longed for winter]
8. Kaivariyudaey thekkaey attam [The southern end of the bannister]
9. Kazhinja vasanthakaalaththil [During last spring]
10. Prathimayum raajakumaariyum [The statue and the princess]
11. Prahaelika [Conundrum]
12. Pukakkannada [Smoke glasses]
13. Mattullavarudaey venal [The summer of others]
14. Syphilisintaey nadakkaavu [The path of syphilis]
15. Rithubhedhangaludaey paarithoshikam [The reward of vicissitudes]
16. Lola Milford enna American penkidaavu [Lola Milford, the American maiden]
17. Thanmathra [Molecule]


'Cloud 10'

Don't mistake by seeing the title..I want to share an incident which happened during my unforgettable 10th standard(2003).

Prologue: I loved a girl in 6th standard(don't want to name her here). I proposed her just because i made a bet with my friend, which i won so easily:). She studied with me in 6th and later on due to various reasons she moved to another school(one reason was that her mother,our teachers and almost the entire school came to know about our affair:)). Then i met her after two long years during science fair at Christ Nagar,Kowdiar. So it all started again. But we used to see or talk just once in an year i.e during science fair only. It wasn't a very serious affair, but i earned the status of 'committed' among my friends(that was a big deal in school):). Everything was going smoothly until something happened which really left a mark in my life..

I had a good friend in school..Ms V(let it be like that!). She wasn't so glamorous or sexy like the other 'beauties' of our class. But she had beautiful eyes and long hair like Kavya Madhavan(that time Kavya was our beauty Katrina Kaif,Priyanka Chopra..):). She studied with during 9th and 10th standard.. I never thought of loving her even in my wildest dreams. Another thing was that she knew about my affair with the other gal. So we were moving forward as very good friends until my friends started doubting us:(. My close friends and her friends started making rumours that we were in love. Especially i should thank my very best friend 'Nipin' for creating all the troubles. At a cursed moment, in front of our friends she shouted that she loves me. Everyone got happy as she vomited what they wanted, but for me the earth stood still for sometime. She soon came to apologise to me saying that she said it after losing all her patience and she never meant anything seriously. But I'm a boy and of course took advantage of that situation. She fell into a fix and it almost took two days for her to get out of that. Finally she said a 'yes' to my proposal with a charming smile. That was one of the moments I should have really celebrated in life, but then i got into a fix. I understood i was screwed up!:(. 'A friend in need is a friend in deed'..I went straight to Nipin to discuss my problem. After his deep calculations, he urged me to proceed with Ms V also keeping other gal by side. Y blame him alone?? I am the person to take final decision, i could've rejected her..But i proceeded with his plans:). Then it was romance time in class! I sat near to her, exchanged glances during classes, passed messages in paper bits..Wow that was too exciting! But as like every relation ours too had ego clashes,disputes etc. She was always possessive about me..Also too emotional and sensitive. I always had time to spend with my friends and other gals, but never for her! I always shouted at her for no reason, in fact i was avoiding her! One day she asked whether we can end this drama?? She was finding it difficult to adjust with me! In her terms, i was too 'bad'..Moreover a gal needs very much care and love from her boyfriend, which i never gave! That moment i felt completely empty, i was shattered in a way; Because i loved her! But i never let her off. From the next day i started becoming decent(for that i got nicely from my friends:P). Later on i started loving her very much..Romantic days were back again:). She was very happy that i changed for her. When we boys fall in love, we think she is all ours. I took that freedom too, a moment i will remember throughout my life. I don't know who all were there at class that time..We were talking for a long time, laughing..Her smile and gestures were tempting me like anything, so many times i felt like kissing her but others were there..Finally i couldn't control myself and 'i held her by her waist'..She stood there petrified! I don't know how much long i held her like that, but i enjoyed those moments like anything(i think she too):). And another moment was just before our x'mas examinations, when i held her hands for sometime:). Coming to the final part, this relation also got broke up:(. She had a lot of problems at home(which she never said to me). Saying this issues and some unjustifiable reason, she suggested a break up. I lost all my temper, tore and threw away the card which i wanted to give her.After that we haven't talked much, i saw her for the last time on March 23,2004. Her eyes were filled with tears that time..May be she was bidding me a final goodbye or she still loved me??

Epilogue: Ms V vanished like anything..No one knows where she is or what she is doing and all? I tried to find her many ways..but no use:(. And my relation with other gal ended soon, but often i see her. And here i am struggling with a fucking course called BTech..But now no love, no tensions..Happy:)

(P.S: I am not trying to be another Chetan Bhagat..Whatever i have written is what happened in my life, no exaggeration nothing)!